What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize