i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
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it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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