Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize