Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
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Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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