her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize