Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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