He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I wear drunk well.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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