officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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