there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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