every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize