i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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