White coat. Heels.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
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my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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