Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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