Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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