I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize