You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize