Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize