remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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