When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize