I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize