I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize