i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
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Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
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