and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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