This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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