8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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