I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize