Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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