i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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