I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize