the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
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