I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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