She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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