It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize