My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize