Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize