Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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