I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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