I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize