Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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