Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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