Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize