Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize