Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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