You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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