she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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