Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize