tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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