Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
they need to just BURY HIM!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize