Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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