you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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